The (Former) Apartment

Sexual Politics

Another day, another dollar (or three), another Eagle's Nest breakfast burrito. The perfect food? Maybe. In fact, they are so good that I might have to file them as Exhibit Q in the case to prove God's existence. On the flipside of that, if God exists, then why didn't he create tater tots to grow in the wild? Now that would be benevolent.

I posited an interesting theory to Matt this evening--what would humanity accomplish if sex never existed? Assuming we could still reproduce in some manner (oops, I lost an arm... give it a few seconds... hey! it's another me), I initially thought we would have transcended to a higher plane of existence. If we spent as much time on science or art as we did on worrying about the opposite sex--or same sex, if that's your particular sausage--then the middle ages would have lasted about two hours. Or two MacGuyver episodes, because that would have been invented much earlier.

However, I changed my mind on this particular topic when I realized a crucial fact. This is big, wait for it. There is nothing we do that we do not do, at least subconsciously, to impress or woo the opposite sex--or same sex, if that's your plate of grits. Think about it. Plato? Poon-tang. Da Vinci? Da womens. Newton? Nookie. It works the opposite way, too. Cleopatra? Co... I'm not going to finish that. Heck, even Jesus kept that Mary Magdalene chick around. I'm sure he flexed when he was healing the lepers--see those guns?

Now, I'm pretty sure I neither believe this nor am I qualified to discuss biopsychology, but if I was only allowed to talk about things I know about, I'd be a whole lot quieter. I'm going to go listen to music.

~Andy

Song of the Day
"You Still Believe in Me" by M. Ward

The Beach Boys classic played instrumentally with folk instrumentation and a kickin' lo-fi recording. Simply amazing.

posted by the apartment @ 11:17 PM